just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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