Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
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When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
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His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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