You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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