Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at about main and main street
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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