Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize