I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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