in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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