i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize