i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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