I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
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He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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