i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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