I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
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maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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