Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize