Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize