So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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