I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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