I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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