I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize