...so i touched it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize