A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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