A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize