His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
then he tried to convert me to islam
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
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We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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