I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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