Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
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Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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