omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I touched a dick in church today
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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