I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize