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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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