do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
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