How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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