The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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