i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
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Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
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Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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