I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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