Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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