i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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