I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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