I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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