God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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