Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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