alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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