Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
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Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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