We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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