ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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