i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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