not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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