We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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