i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize