doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize