How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
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we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
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her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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