And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize