i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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